I was homeschooling my kids and one day one of my children came up to me with an exasperated look on her face and said something to the effect of “Mom, I am so behind in my schoolwork.” This statement was false because first, we were homeschooling and working at our own pace, and second, my child was not actually behind. She just didn’t have everything completed on the lesson plans I wrote down for her, and she did not meet the expectations she had for herself (or what she thought I had for her).
Have you ever said the words, “I am behind”? As I write this blog, I am fighting the urge to tell them because I haven’t written a blog post in a couple weeks, my expectation of myself is to write more often, and I knew this would be a challenging topic for me to cover. Whether it is working at home or outside the home, this is a familiar tune that I repeat in my head.
Why do we say we are behind? Maybe it is because there is a mental or physical list you want to accomplish and if it doesn’t get done, you feel like you didn’t do everything you needed to that day and beat yourself up over it. Then it happens all over again the next day. Before you know it, those words start to get played over and over again in your brain. There can be a little truth to it too, if, let’s say, you have just started studying for a test coming up the next day and you wonder why you waited so long to begin (I may be speaking from experience).
This thought can be paired with another one, “I don’t have enough time in my day.” This happens when you have a long list of to-do’s you mentally want to accomplish in a day. I tell myself: “When I am done with everything on my list, I will take a break and work on a hobby.” Guess what? I have realized, that you will never get to your hobby if you think about it that way. There isn’t enough time in the day to complete everything on your to-do list. Trust me, I’ve tried!
Someone told my husband once: you may have many balls that you are trying to keep in the air each day, but some days you have to choose which ones to drop.
Trust me, sometimes I have way too many I am trying to keep up. And then I feel guilty when they drop.
How do we stop those negative thoughts from taking over?
One thing that has helped me is making a list of things to do for the next day before I go to bed. But I am also choosing three important tasks that I definitely want to finish. If the rest of my list doesn’t get completed, I move them to another day. You have to be willing to let those tasks go, but try to keep at least three. For instance, your top three tasks could be reading a book, having a movie night with the kids, and exercising for 15 minutes.
Another tool I have learned is time blocking. I like budgeting. I tell my money where to go, and in turn, I think it is important to tell my time where to go. Schedule times for your most important things, just like you would a doctor’s appointment. Do you want to work on a hobby? Block out 30 minutes to spend on whatever hobby you have. Do you have a side job you want to do? Schedule when you will work on that; it may be when everyone has gone to bed. Keep track however it works best for you. Some people like writing on an actual piece of paper (me!) and others prefer to put reminders on their phones. Lately, I am trying to have more of a combination. I have reminders on my phone to post on social media for my business. I also have a physical calendar and one on my phone for adding appointments on.
Here is an example of how I want to tackle my most important to-do’s. Each day you list at the top of the page your three most important tasks of the day. Then underneath your list, block out time to complete those three things. You can add in others if you would like, for example, I added that I would like to draw for 30 minutes when I get home from work. Give yourself grace. If it happens – yay! But if not, there is always tomorrow. Life can throw us curve balls, so some days your plan can get thrown out the window. At the bottom of the page is a section for What I Would Like To Get Done (but it is okay if I don’t). Do you notice I don’t call it a To Do list? It makes me feel like I HAVE to get it done. I also added positive messages like “I am moving forward” and “I don’t have to get everything done on my list.”
Finally, I am reading an early copy of the book Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking, by Jon Acuff, which has helped with those negative thoughts. In the book, he gives some solutions to the broken soundtracks that we listen to in our heads. We can replace the negative soundtrack with positive ones. One I have been using instead of “I am behind”, is replacing it with “I am moving forward.” Or here is one I learned from him when you are tempted to compare where you are with someone else:
No one is ahead of you in the race of you.
Jon Acuff
You are not behind. Go run your race!
How do you help yourself move forward?
Oil and Shine 
2 responses to “Your Top Three Tasks”
Aww, that was one sweet post. Thanks for sharing!
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You are welcome!
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